I love the LORD because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.
Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath.
Psalm
116:1-2
Ever since childhood I wasn’t able to scream for help when
hurt or in danger. I opened my mouth and attempted to force sound from my
throat but nothing came out. Recurring nightmares reinforced my fears that no one
could hear me when I was in trouble. The haunting dreams finally stopped
several years ago. What
happened?
God happened. “I AM THAT I AM” entered the scene in a real
way for me that I hadn’t experienced to that point. I bask in His presence now and I know He is already present in my future. It didn’t occur to me that He
was and is in my past, as well. With the support and
encouragement of a few trusted friends, I prayed and poured out my heart for the
healing of my damaged emotions. I invited Jesus to show me the truth about my
past. I never before dared to allow God behind the walls of my hardened and
deceived heart. He faithfully and gently honored my honest pleas. My past, when
illumined by His Light, included Him! I couldn’t see things clearly until I
asked Jesus to show me. He waited a long time to hear me ask, but He wouldn’t
come in uninvited. Immediately, the nightmares ceased and haven’t returned to
this day.
Now I’m able to scream! Sometimes I practice yelling when
I’m alone in my car or in the shower when no one else is home. God faithfully
restored the voice He gave me at birth.
Until I welcomed the Lord into my memories they seemed void
of Jesus’ presence. Of course, He was there with me all along. He is there. I AM is in our past, present, and future—forever. Will we humbly dare to ask Him to reveal
Himself to us?
Lord, You are “I AM”
and You know my voice amongst all others. Thank You for healing my painful
memories and allowing me to see You in my darkest moments. Your presence makes
all the difference in my life.
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