Accountable

I remember the day well.  Dad loaded my sister and me into his red and white Blazer and took us straight to the place of our elementary dreams - Wal Mart. We pranced inside the bargain superstore, and made a beeline to our favorite pink aisles.

                As we stood with eyes as wide as saucers, my dad placed crisp $5 bills in each of our tiny hands. 

                Quickly, Ashley perused the Barbie aisle, looking intently at each doll and accessory that fell within her price point. After picking over each trinket and treasure, she always settled on the item with the most functionality. A simple doll was never enough. She wanted the doll's hair to magically grow or her outfit to be reversible or her car to go all by itself.

                While Ashley spent her energy assessing the features of each plaything, my sights immediately focused on the one little baby doll that I could afford. It wasn't a difficult decision for me. After all, I already had three more dolls just like her at home. They were so cuddly, so soft, and so in need of my rudimentary mothering.

                "Are you sure you want to spend your money on the same thing you already have at home?" Dad asked, just like always.

                "Her clothes are different," I replied with a grin. Dad didn't argue with me. He just said, "Okay," and led us promptly to the checkout line.

                Lately, this memory has come to my mind a lot, as the Lord has forced me to embrace the idea of accountability. Accountable. The word is constantly on my mind. Just as my dad let me be solely accountable for spending $5 at Wal Mart, my Heavenly Father allows me to be responsible for spending my life.

                I am convinced that there is nothing that will make the sun seem brighter, the sky appear bluer, or the birds' song sweeter than a brush with mortality. Back in 2008, when my breast cancer diagnosis was new and frightening, I was abundantly aware of how I spent the days of my life.

               But, now, perhaps I'm taking God's grace for granted. Perhaps, I've become cozy with my status, because, sometimes I forget to live abundantly. I forget to share the love of Jesus with the waitress who is obviously fighting to hold back tears. I forget to smile at the kid in the grocery store whose mom has been barking hurtful words for the past 30 minutes. I forget to tell my husband how smart he is, and what an honor it is to be his wife. I forget to praise God for the rain that is making my garden grow. I forget to be.........accountable.

                In this new season, I am challenging myself to be accountable for my days by being intentional about Jesus. My goal is that I will spend my life well by making much of Him and less of me. I want to be accountable. Do you?

Lindsey Pond