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NIV is used unless otherwise noted.

Brokenness and Hope

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
Psalm 51:17

Until several years ago, I had a complete set of china dinnerware. In spite of moving households every few years, each fragile piece remained perfectly intact. Then as I packed the dishes one last time, a tea cup slipped from my fingers and broke in two pieces. My spirit was crushed in disappointment.

I never attempted to repair the cup. I kept it and one flawless cup to serve as visible symbols of my two life stories.

One story appears perfect and acceptable. The other story looks undesirable and worthless. Which story is a real life that God is fully involved in? The story of seeming perfection was riddled with chronic depression and despair. The story about brokenness restored my life and led to wholeness!

What changed for me to embrace brokenness? The answer was found in removing the fa├žade of perfection and admitting the depravity of my soul.

I dared to pray a prayer that risked all.

What was my prayer?

Humbly, I bared myself to my Creator and offered, “Lord, I’m tired of trying to control my life. I’m tired of living with worry and fear of what might happen next. I give You permission to do whatever You want with me and my life.”

God answered. He longs to rescue each of us.

Almost immediately, my staged life broke in pieces. Trials brought pain mixed with genuine joy and my messy, broken life began to take on a new shape. I was fully alive for the first time and meaninglessness turned into hopefulness. I pray for all of us to let God have His way with us, even when it doesn’t make sense to do so.

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. (Micah 7:7)

Listen to this song with me by Tenth Avenue North, entitled Worn.

Karen Sims                                 

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