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What Are You Talking About?

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9

When I read this verse, I can't help but laugh a little. God has a sense of humor, but the truth of this verse rings out loud and clear. Who wants to share a home with someone who is always stirring up trouble and complaining about everything? Communication is vastly important, but there is a better way. 

So I came across some common things women say and what they really mean. When clearly upset, and a woman is asked what is wrong, she responds with, "Nothing." This means something, and the man needs to be worried. When a woman says, "Go ahead," this is not permission, this is a dare. Do not do it. 

Funny, right? But, oh, so true. Why do we play these games? Why would we expect our husbands to be able read our minds? My husband is pretty super, but he does not possess super human abilities, like a certain mind-reading vampire. (Movies and romance novels also skew our thinking as to what love and marriage really looks like!)

So how should we communicate? We should be honest when we are hurt and sorry when we wrong. We cannot expect our spouses to know how we feel unless we tell them. Your little signals just might not get through. When communicating how we are feeling, use "I" statements. If we start off with, "You . . ." , defensiveness is sure to follow. 

Your husband is your best friend; you share your life with him. If you can't be honest with him, with whom can you be honest? Share with your husband the things God is teaching you. Share the wins at work and the funny moments with the kids. Share your hopes and ideas, not just a roof. 2 Corinthians 1:7 says, And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Lord, help us to communicate effectively with our husbands. Convict us when we are quarrelsome, nagging, or complaining. Open more of our hearts to share ourselves with our life-mates.

Julie Smith

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